You do have control over your aunt’s estate and home. Sending him texts, emails, letters and voicemail messages will only harden his resolve and - let’s face it - probably create more anger and ill will. And if that is what it takes for him to return your calls, it would be a pyrrhic victory and/or a transactional and meaningless detente. That’s not the kind of relationship or acceptance you should settle for.ĭo the right thing, and honor your aunt’s wishes. But you can’t make everyone like you, or even appreciate your generosity.’ ”Īn act of sacrifice - “Take the house, if it means that much to you” - won’t make your uncle like you. “‘You can fulfill all your obligations as their nephew, and then some. You were recognized for all of your hard work. You went far beyond the call of duty by remaining a steadfast and constant presence in your aunt’s life, and paying out of your own pocket for her care. There is nothing wrong with you inheriting your aunt’s home. If his help did come with such a caveat, he should have made that clear. Her brother likely did not help them with a down payment with the expectation that they would leave their home to him in return. Unlike some people, you did everything by the book. Even if your uncle had a change of heart, there would still be far too many people in the world to appease. Not everyone will see you for who you are: a kind, thoughtful and compassionate person. You can fulfill all your obligations as their nephew, and then some.īut you can’t make everyone like you, or even appreciate your generosity. You can make sure that they have a warm, safe home to live in. You can pay their bills, and arrange for a nurse to care for them in their last days. You can be the caretaker for your aunt and uncle. Trying to Do Right By Everyone Dear Trying, His sons said they will attempt to talk to him, but they don’t think he will listen. I offered to gift this house back to him, with the caveat of him refinancing the loan first before I transfer the title to him. He is already well off - a retired anesthesiologist - so he doesn’t need the money. I don’t know why he won’t discuss this further, but I can make an educated guess as to why. Our Christmas card was returned to sender. I have made attempts to contact my uncle to give him his share, but to no avail, whether it is via text, phone, email or snail mail. I was given the house as a gift, so it is legally in my name. The rest was distributed to my siblings (five shares), my parents (one share) and my uncle (two shares). Of the 10 shares total, my wife and I kept two shares while keeping the house and the loan on it. Our Christmas card was returned to sender.’ ” “‘I have made attempts to contact my uncle to give him his share, but to no avail, whether it is via text, phone, email or snail mail.
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